Source of anxiety: Dependence

Lately, I’m evaluating why I am feeling anxious.

At work, I have been comfortable delivering difficult bugs and solutions. As long as I am depending on myself, I am comfortable with that.

Now I have to learn to be comfortable in depending on my team to deliver the solutions and other teams not under me to finish on time. God is exposing the following weakness:

1. Be comfortable on relying on others and not be in control. Drawing out the best from them.  Demand and expect it from your team.

2. Prioritize distributing the load more than taking the load.

Ang tunay na lalaki (The real man)

What makes a real man?  What is a real man? I was reflecting at this question while preparing for a message for a church.

Strong and driven -- this is my top description of the ultimate man.  This can be a picture for an athlete or a picture of an  entrepreneur.  This description, I saw it watching a film a few years ago and it stick with me.  

That sounded cool, but what does the bible say about being a real man?

There is one defining character that I would say would that would standout as the definition of a real man.  A real man is -- giving.

A promise keeping God

Pinky promise

David kept his promise to Jonathan.  On 2 Samuel 9, it narrates the story of how David showed kindness to Mephibosheth.  He could have just sent money to Mephibosheth on a regular basis, but David did not just do that.  He gave the very best to Mephibosheth, a self sustaining livelihood and a seat at the kings table.

1 Samuel 20:14-15

Making a stand like David

Psalm 11:1

In the Lord I take refuge.
    How then can you say to me:
    “Flee like a bird to your mountain.

David was conflicted and perhaps insulted here.  He has been counseled to flee perhaps, by his friends (of course with all good intentions).  But you can feel the disgust on David's words -- "How can you say to me?".  This Psalm was written presumably when Saul wanted to kill him on 1 Samuel 19-ish.

Why was David so sure he would win against Goliath?

He wasn't.  He wasn't sure that he would win against Goliath.  It was never recorded in the bible that God told David to kill Goliath.  So this act was an act of faith for David -- a gesture of faith.  The stakes are very high.  If David loses, Israel would be under Philistine authority and yet he was willing to gamble that.  

What can we learn from here?

1. God honors gestures of faith as long as the heart is correct.  

Be worried for nothing

I have a constant need to be productive and get ahead and as developer I have a FOMO on the new and shiny JS front-end frameworks. 

Looking at God's activity in my life, God has been very good to me and my family.  All my career milestones were not a result of my effort but God's hand.